BE KIND | BE COOL

Doing an act of kindness releases our feel good chemicals and we get a little ‘helper high’ while satisfying our need for connection - and the deeper and realer you connect the better your life will be. We create positive emotions through appreciation and gratitude which leads to higher functioning people and cultivates increased motivation and higher self-esteem - that sounds pretty good.

When we show vulnerability and courage, we build greater connection, trust, respect, and we feel really good. We can also help break down unhealthy and dangerous perceptions of what strength and masculinity really is - being kind, vulnerable and honest is for everyone - and a beautiful and powerful ripple takes shape. And it is a ripple. Researchers from Yale University closely monitored around 5000 people living in a small town in Massachusetts, for more than three decades. They found that when someone was happy or sad, courageous or vulnerable, that emotion rippled throughout the entire town. By being bold, open, aware and willing to do something kind for someone else - we spread happiness far and wide… And this week it is all about spreading kindness and happiness! For you and everyone else!

Watering Flowers

One exercise around compassion and kindness that I use regularly in my everyday life is watering flowers -- complimenting a colleague or a friend - saying something nice about a project they performed well in, an act they carried out, or just a general thank you for the character they continually display.

This is simple, yet powerful - good things are like Teflon and the bad things are like Velcro - we are good at seeing our faults, so it is always helpful to have others recognise our goodness, and help us grow - and science proves it actually helps both parties grow!

Think of a friend, colleague or family member. Write down 3 positive qualities about them with an example of what they do to showcase this quality.

Example:

Mum.

1. Generous - always willing to devote her time and energy to help others, whether by cooking, cleaning, helping out financially.

2. Fun - always finding the positive, bringing joy and laughter to our lives. Quirky and alive.

3. Sweet - comforting in difficult times. Knows how to listen deeply and be there in all her presence.

Get as detailed as you want.

Now - Start a text message expressing these compliments.

Hey Mum. Hope you’re doing great. I just wanted to say I’m really thankful for all the love you have given me all these years. No matter how busy you have been you always create the space to dedicate your time and energy to helping me - whether it is financially, emotionally or offering kind advice. I admire your ability to always show care and be there deeply present in everything you do. And, I know I don’t say it much - you’re also a lot of fun! Even though I tease your quirkiness and dry sense of humour - I actually love it and the joy it provides. Thank you!

Now - Press Send!

Repeat for 3 people in your life..

GUIDED MEDITATION: 7 MINUTEs | kindness

WEEKLY INQUIRY

am i being kind to myself?

*Think about a friend going through a difficult time. How would you speak to them? This week you’ve sent, and are sending, kind messages that are helping water many flowers. What about your own flower? Do you do these things for yourself? What’s your self talk like? Spend this week being aware of how you relate to yourself and keep in mind that kindness to yourself - self-compassion - is absolutely imperative!

RECOMMENDED READING

article: serena chen on the powers of self-compassion

FINAL THOUGHTS

Every time you do something kind for someone else and you both feel good afterwards, we start building new habit energies that just build again and again. And feeling good is good, especially when it is healthy. If more and more people start to realise how easy it is to feel good, by just being nice to other people, by opening up instead of shutting off, then we shift entire communities and societal norms. Here we can also help shift the idea that kindness is a weakness. No, kindness takes considerable strength and great courage. That’s why it is cool to be kind, and every time you be kind we help shift what coolness really is, and again we help shift society.

You can change your day and someone else’s day, by just saying hello…

*image credit @thestampedetrail