Fatherhood Unfiltered: 12 Months of Surviving Noise, Chaos, and Life's Unexpected Lessons

12 Months of Fatherhood: Lessons in Noise, Awareness, and Finding Peace

Its been 12 months of fatherhood, and I’ve unlocked a new level of awareness—one that didn’t care about quiet cafes or considerate pedestrians before. But when your baby is finally asleep in her pram, the world looks different, and suddenly, things like loud trucks become personal. You don’t need a giant exhaust system for your Corolla, mate—$3,000 worth of car doesn’t need to sound like a tractor. And please, save your gear shifts for when you’re out of earshot.

The Lack of Awareness Epidemic

I’m pushing a pram down the footpath, and here comes a runner. Simple enough, right? You’re an adult, a functioning human who can adjust course, or so I thought. But no, they head straight for us like we’re competing in some weird baby-pram dodgeball. Five meters—that’s all I’m asking. Just five meters of detour to avoid a collision. And take those noise-cancelling headphones out while you’re at it! Maybe if you weren’t listening to Jordan Peterson telling you how to be “better” at life, you’d realize that life is happening right in front of you. Forget the motivational spiel—engage with what’s in front of you. That’s the real path to enlightenment. Or at least, you know, to not being a jerk.

Even Older People Miss the Memo

And it’s not just the headphone-wearing, motivational-podcast-listening crowd. Even older folks, the ones who should know better, often don’t. Picture this: I’m in a café with my baby, who’s finally fallen asleep. It’s a peaceful moment—until a woman, who’s pushing 70, screams like she just won the lottery because she spotted a friend. Lady, I’ve got a sleeping baby here! “Sorry, I was just excited,” she says. Excited? Sure. But maybe also a little unaware. Maybe even a little lacking in compassion. Ever heard of an inside voice?

Parenting Isn't Rocket Science, It's Just Showing Up

There’s so much advice out there for new parents—sleep training, solid foods, day care, teething, the works. It’s like a crash course in survival. But honestly, what I’ve learned is that parenting isn’t complicated. It’s about being present, over and over again. You don’t need a book, a blog, or an Instagram “expert” to tell you how to love your kid. You just need to be there—eyes open, heart open, intentional in your presence. The most important parenting tool? Not a fancy stroller or the latest baby monitor. It’s your undivided attention. The kind of presence that capitalism can’t sell you.

Of course, being present takes work—it means managing your stress, maybe even reevaluating your life. Because how can you be your best self if you’re constantly wound up, rushing through life, collecting more stuff? It’s funny how we’ve been doing this parenting thing for thousands of years, but somehow modern society has convinced us we need to buy our way to success. Spoiler alert: you don’t. Presence doesn’t have a price tag.

Beware of the Human Condition: Losing Our Humanity

What I’ve noticed time and again is that people have a funny way of losing their humanness. They become products—of their own conditioning, of their culture, of whatever reinforces their behavior. They chase after ideas that make them feel comfortable, instead of challenging themselves to think differently. It’s no different in parenting. We latch onto whatever method makes us feel validated, rather than looking deeply at what actually works for our kid—and, more importantly, what makes sense for our family. It’s harder to examine your habits and decide for yourself what’s best, but isn’t that what real growth is about?

The Delicate Science of Finding the Perfect Park Spot

Here’s a skill no one warned me about: becoming a tactical analyst of parks. Finding the perfect spot while your baby naps requires Sherlock Holmes-level detective work. Are there kids around? Will they start screaming? Are the adults aware or oblivious? Are the teenagers blasting their music or having an existential crisis on their phone? You don’t want any surprises when you’ve finally got your baby asleep in your arms. Because that moment when you crack open your book, the breeze is just right, and all is calm? That’s pure bliss—until someone ruins it with their outburst, their call, or, of course, their exhaust.

The Most Precious Gift

But you know what? The moments are precious. Baby changes fast, life changes fast. Being able to carve out a life where you’re truly present with your little one, where you’re free from stress and can actually care for them (and Mum), is the greatest gift of all. You can work later. Sell that extra stuff if you need to—but don’t miss this. Find the cafes that serve a killer single-origin long black and have room for a nappy change. Life is about balance, after all.

Adapting to Change (And No Sleep)

If there’s one constant in parenting, it’s change. No sleep, new teeth, good sleep—everything shifts. And it will again. So you adapt, because that’s the essence of parenthood. You learn to be present, to be mindful, and most of all, to roll with the punches. Otherwise, you miss it. All of it. And trust me, you don’t want to miss a thing.

Written by Evan Sutter. Stoked Dad to one legendary legend.