The Illusion of Open Relationships: Why Breaking Up Might Be the Better Choice

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to see why more couples are exploring open relationships. The idea of adding a new lover into the mix might seem like an exciting solution to relationship woes. But here’s a thought: instead of opening up your relationship, why not just break up?

The Mirage of Freedom

Open relationships often promise a sense of freedom and novelty, a quick fix to the stagnation that can creep into long-term partnerships. But this freedom is frequently an illusion, masking deeper issues that resurface once the excitement wears off. Think about it—if two truly authentic, mature adults, who excel in honesty and integrity, are in a relationship, would they need to open it up in the first place?

Masking Deeper Issues

Opening up a relationship often acts as a band-aid over deeper problems. When a couple introduces a new person into their relationship, it can create a temporary distraction from underlying issues. However, once the novelty fades and the usual relationship dramas reappear, the fundamental problems remain. The new person, who seemed so exciting at first, also comes with their own set of flaws and complications.

The Endless Chase for Distraction

In our modern world, we’re conditioned to chase after quick fixes and instant gratification. When boredom or discomfort sets in, we’re quick to look for distractions rather than face the reality of our situation. Opening up a relationship can be just another way to run away from these feelings. Instead of addressing the root causes of dissatisfaction, couples often believe that introducing a new person will solve their problems.

The Endless Chase for more

A product of our modern, capitalist society is perhaps that we often desire more and more. We are forever seeking to add something extra, something different or something better. This constant chase for more can leave us always in a state of dissatisfaction or lack rather than ease or peacefulness. If we grow accustomed to this search for more in other areas of our lives, it inevitably creeps into our relationships. Soon we want more from our partner which is only hyped up by the ridiculous inauthenticity and showmanship paraded about on social media. We don’t seek to enjoy the wonderful traits our partner has, instead, we single out what they don’t have and we quickly become bored. So, we set our sights on filling our time up with something new, just like a new home renovation because “what else is there to do, right?” But, like the new renovation, once it is done we turn our attention to the next thing in a constant merry-go-round of time-wasting.

Adding Fuel to the Fire

Introducing a new lover can add more confusion to an already complicated situation. It’s like throwing fuel on a fire that’s already out of control. At a time when clarity and simplicity are paramount, adding more people to the mix can create additional layers of complexity and emotional turmoil.

The Case for Breaking Up

Rather than using an open relationship as a crutch, couples might be better off considering a breakup. This may sound harsh, but chasing true freedom, meaning, and authentic joy often requires letting go of what no longer serves us. Staying in a relationship out of convenience or fear of being alone only prolongs the inevitable.

Seeking Authentic Joy

Authentic joy and fulfilment come from within, not from external sources or temporary distractions. If you’re feeling unfulfilled in your relationship, it might be time to look inward and ask yourself some tough questions. Are you staying out of comfort? Are you afraid of the unknown? Is this relationship truly serving your highest good?

Conclusion

In the end, the decision to open up a relationship or break up is deeply personal and complex. However, it’s worth considering that the pursuit of freedom and joy might be better served by facing reality head-on, rather than seeking temporary distractions. By embracing the discomfort and uncertainty that come with ending a relationship, you open yourself up to the possibility of true growth and transformation.

So, next time you find yourself contemplating an open relationship, ask yourself: is this a genuine desire for growth, or just a way to avoid facing the deeper issues? Perhaps breaking up, though difficult, is the first step towards a more authentic and fulfilling life.